There will be blood

It is said that anything that is of value involves blood, sweat and tears - but I don't like blood, sweat and tears!

There seem to be so many reasons/excuses not to go running: too early, too late, too hot, too cold, too full, too hungry, actually the main one seems to be too busy - things are so busy. We go on holiday soon so everything backs ups into the fortnight before and I have to run to catch up, except that leaves no actual time to run.

I had some time yesterday evening but I was made to promise that I would not run, he was bigger than me, made me sign forms and then assaulted me with this HUGE needle, literally sucking the life force from me - I took a picture to prove it.

Why can't I run just because I have given blood? Apparently I will faint - I have never fainted! Apparently there is a first time for everything. So I promised that I would not go scuba diving, go-kart driving, paragliding and a host of other things I just don't do anyway. He said I had to promise not to go running too, I said I don't run, I jog, badly. Apparently I can't do that either not for 24 hours, so with several evening meetings I couldn't run today either.

Then I had an argument with the manager of the area Blood Service unit. As I surveyed the calorie, salt and sugar laden crisps and biscuits I merely suggested that fruit might be an option, that made her blood boil. Clearly I wasn't the first to suggest it and she has all the answers, was I willing to pay more taxes? this wasn't private this was the National Health, all the biscuits were neatly packed and germ free, fruit would be loose and unhealthy, it would get bruised, the staff would eat it! At that point I gave up.

I will go running tomorrow, as long as it's not too hot or too cold, did the man say 24 hours or 24 days? Do I really need an excuse/reason not to run

Broken! Busted? Borked...

I woke up at 5.30am this morning, strange bed, Disciple to prepare for, lots to think about, lots to do. Trying to return to the land of sleep proved impossible. There is a balance between action and inaction, doing and being.

Today I am at the second day of CELL UK national conference for the Methodist church, located in Swanwick, hence the strange bed. Last week Rowan Williams described the future of church as somewhere between cell and celebration, not new but pithy. So yesterday and today I am listening, talking, questioning and reflecting on how church can be better in 'cells'.

It seems there are a number of things: cells have DNA, something deep that defines and shapes them, there is also something about connectedness, not just to those in your own cell group but those outside, those friends, family, co-workers whose 'hand you hold', whom you pastor to. The aspect that has gotten to me though is that cells, by definition, multiply, they are born to grow, to split. The word 'split' in the context of church is always seen in a negative light, it means there has been disagreement that has led to schism, not a good kind of broken in any way.

Yet 'Cell Church' has as its mantra and withing its DNA that it should aim to split, there should come a point when growth has meant that, to misquote the Spice Girls, '1 become 2'.

It is strange how things happen, yesterday evening, over dinner, I was talking with a colleague, about the value of exercise, he was explaining to me the benefit of using weights to build muscle and burn calories, Apparently any exercise and especially short bursts, tears the muscle, literally breaks it, the bulk comes when the muscle repairs itself, growing in size but also burning calories to do so. So when the muscle stops working the benefits remain, the growth increases during the resting. Purposeful brokenness for the benefit of growth.


Apparently 'borked' means to break or damage, its etymology is uncertain but it is thought it was originally a misspelling of 'broked' as in broken. A new word born by breaking an old one.

Psalm 51:17 says"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.", maybe brokenness IS something to work toward, a purposeful attempt to renew, to grow through purposeful discipline: physical, or spiritual.

I ran 4 miles today in gloriously sunny Swanwick.

Painstaking transformation

'Painstaking transformation' those were the words that started my day.
Nicky Campbell (is it the same without Shelagh Fogarty?) on Radio 5 was interviewing Matthew Syed an Olympic table tennis player about his new book 'Bounce'. Essentially the conversation revolved around the idea that we are not limited by our bodies or minds but by our limits. It is the things that we say that we can't do that we can't do.

Syed's research suggests that there is a 'myth of talent' and a huge power in the application of practice. Saying you can't do something is incredibly destructive and only reinforces your conclusion. The 'power of practice' was cited as the most important factor in ANY success and that many child prodigies have unusual lifestyles that meant they practised a lot from a very young age. Perseverance is the key and a beliefe that effort ALWAYS translates into performance. Nicky Campbell reminded the listeners of Gary Player's quote 'the more I practice the luckier I seem to get'

So this morning was an excellent wake up call for me as I embark upon trying  to become a slightly less rubbish jogger. To complete the circle I also start a 'Disciple' course today. Disciple is a year long practice of daily Bible study and reflection punctuated by weekly meetings, I am doing this with a dozen others and it starts today. I decided to do this some time ago to put a bit more disciplined exercise into my flabby spiritual life. 

Today I am considering going for a run, the first since my half-marathon, but it is cold, raining and I am too busy. I think I need to set out a programme, a timetable or I am concerned that I will never get down to it.


The spiritual journey seems like it is connected to the physical one: Slow, painstaking that sounds like me; transformation? I hope so.

Running with broken toe

You might take me to task with the title, especially as it is my first foray into Blogging. I hardly 'run', actually even the term 'jogging' may be an exaggeration. Said toe may not be broken, blackened, yes, bleeding yes, broken - only a maybe. All in a rushed, definitely running, attempt to save washing from a drenching on Saturday afternoon. Why did I run without shoes, why did I kick the corner of that concrete flower pot so hard, why did I have to do that within 24 hours of my second attempt of 'running' the Great West Jog.

Running with broken toe gave me an excuse to do badly. Actually after strapping it to the toe next to it and dosing myself on painkillers I can honestly say it wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated. I was aiming to do the 13.1 miles in 2 hours 10 minutes and at 2:16 I was quite content; still 20+ minutes quicker than two years ago.

My father commented that 'Running with broken toe' had something of the 'Native American' about it, that is the indigenous peoples of North America. This rang a bell with me and reminded me of the reason I started running in the first place. Okay: to lose weight, get fit and share a recreational activity with my wife are the three other reasons. The other, other reason has a relation with that idea of 'indigenous'. Now I understand 'indigenous' to mean 'occurring naturally', 'innate' or 'inherent' and not just to races or peoples but also to qualities. Long distance running is something I maintain is utterly unnatural for me, I ran 100 metres for my school and played rugby on the wing and right back for the football team. I had an innate ability to run quickly over very short distances but NEVER over long.

We are each born with inherent, dare I say 'indigenous, strengths and weaknesses and, I guess given the choice,we often do the things that we are good at, the things that we enjoy. My question and my other, other reason to start running was to ask what happens when we purposefully engage with those things we find difficult or dislike, the things we have always said that we just can't do?

I didn't need an alleged broken toe to run badly when I run (jog) badly anyway. Jogging badly was actually part of the plan.