Like many of you I am sure you have seen a variety of friends undertake 22 push ups a day and video their efforts, seems easy? Try and and you will see it takes some effort. The reason is to raise awareness that on average 22 veterans take their own lives each day - shocking isn't it.
Last week I took the funeral of two people who likely took their own lives, I did one the previous week and have one this coming week. I say 'likely' because coroners often go for 'death by misadventure' unless they are absolutely certain.
I used to play Pontoon as a child, get as close to '21' as you can
without going over. 22 or more and game over, you have lost and are out.
The weird thing is that at the start of the game everyone starts
exactly the same - they start at zero and the first two, mandatory, cards
can never push them over the edge - it is as additional cards are chosen
and played that the game gets riskier. If you continue to twist 22+
is just going to happen.
People ask me if it depressing taking funerals of those who have died by 'misadventure' and actually it isn't, it is always a privilege to stand alongside families in their time of greatest need and create a 'service' which meets their needs. So not depressing but they are often incredibly sad. The problem with suicide is that people (invariably men) feel that they have come to the end of any possible chance of hope and see no further purpose in their lives. I say 'the problem' because at each and every such funeral people talk of how much impact the person had on their lives, how glad they were to have them in their lives, how much they were loved and how much they will be missed. Every family and friend articulate just how they wish their loved one had reached out for help or talked about their situation, before it became too much and too late.
We don't know what pushes someone over the edge and it certainly isn't my place to judge and actually, after the event, it makes little difference. What '22 press ups' is about is prevention and talking about feelings, reaching out to those struggling and listening is just about the best prevention there is. Talking about suicide and the feelings that might cause it is not depressing and it may just be life saving.
So part of my reason for writing this, as well as a bit of self catharsis, is to say it and name it, "too many people, not just veterans are taking their own lives because they feel alone, worthless and without hope". It is my hope that in doing my bit to raise awareness and talking about it that it might just make a difference to someone somewhere and that someone somewhere might just be closer to us than we think.
P.S. by the way I can now actually touch bridges when I run over them!
