Trump, LGBT, Weeping and Eternal Damnation

2 years ago when I watched Forest Whitaker at the conclusion of the film ‘The Butler’ as he looked back at his life I wept uncontrollably. I knew of the struggle for equal rights and the heinous impact of slavery, the abuse of a people and a culture that lasted centuries all down to a difference in pigmentation and location of birth – yet something hit home harder. There was something utterly evil when you treat people worse because of a difference that they cannot choose and have no say in and for a moment I felt that pain, that dis-ease that claustrophobia of being able to do nothing to effect change.

The release of the film was timed well, Obama was in the Whitehouse and there was a new hope, not just for people of colour but, for all people. Now Trump is in the Whitehouse.

Watching that film, just about, heralded the start of 18 months of tears for me as my marriage came to an end, I left the house I lived in and the job I loved and lost lots of friends along the way. Yet this was my choosing and despite the difficulty I had a say in the direction of travel.

What I found most surprising was that people assumed I lost my faith, that I had stopped believing in God. The reality is that if God is love and mercy and kindness and grace and forgiveness then my need of those increased in this time and my reliance on the God I believe in grew. But part of what I believed in also died, it had to for me to survive and stay rational. I will explain.

Last week I was moved to tears again as I read the report from the Church of England on same sex marriage and relationships. They are going to keep the status quo, they are going to continue to marginalise and judge and exclude those who were born a certain way and have no choice in their orientation. Let’s be clear here the Bible says nothing on loving same sex relationships. The Old Testament , along with its condemnation of same sex sexual acts also says not to eat shellfish of wear  clothes of two different fibres, Jesus says nothing at all about it and Paul, in the New Testament, also says that women shouldn’t speak in church (oh do we need fewer men speaking in church). How we love to mix our hermeneutics to suit ourselves. This is appalling and desperately sad.

So for those absolute literal Bible believing conservative Christians who aren’t eating shellfish and won’t let women speak in church at least you are staying true to your ignorance. At least you aren’t hypocritical as well as ignorant. Here is a fact.

81% of white, born again, evangelical Christians voted for Trump.

Last week the church had a chance to right the wrongs that have adversely affected the lives of those from the LGBT community and it didn’t.

The ‘church’ has so much capacity for good yet it chooses this and when it chooses to pedal hatred and a misrepresentation of the gospel then we get people like Trump elected. Without the church backing him he would NOT have been elected.

When I became a minister I foolishly and arrogantly believed that I could make a difference. Now when I go to church I am overwhelmed not just at my loss but at the disconnect between the wonder, grace, mercy and love of a God who is depicted, by those who have the power, as a creator who loathes part of ‘his’ creation to the extent that ‘he’ will eternally burn 99. % of it because they won’t do what the church says ‘he’ wants them to do . No wonder I continue to weep, what other choice is there?

So part of my understanding of God has died, thank goodness for that. I now refuse to believe in an entity that excludes, condemns, threatens, cajoles, persuades and marginalises because of race, or sexuality.  And if God is as capricious, as the far right say he is, then I am in for a whole heap of trouble and will face an eternity of damnation. Actually that isn’t a God I will worship.

So let eternity see to itself and let God be God, I believe that we have the ‘God given’ capacity to choose and choose well, we have intellects – individual and corporate to aid those decisions, we have experience and personal understanding to choose to make a difference. When the people of God were exiled that sat down by Babylon’s rivers and wept; maybe change starts with weeping. But it must not end there.